just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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