I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
