If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
