you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
