i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
