thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
