Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You can't special order awesome
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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