Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
