She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
