isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
