Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
