you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I love having hate sex.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
