Cold hands, warm shart.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
