I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
