I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
