i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
