Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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