And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize