They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
