Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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