Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
