i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
