so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dear god my vagina.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
