Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
