I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
should my penis look like a turkey
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
