My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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