hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
