I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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