She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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