Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
