Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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