dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
