hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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