I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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