Small penises have feelings too.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
