we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
