Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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