you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
