went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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