you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
