We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
