I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
