So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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