Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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