ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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