wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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