yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
