bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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