Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
