Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
