Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
