6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
