My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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