there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
