I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
