That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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