i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I hate all girls vehemently.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
