I'm gonna have a badass scar
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
