That's when you crack a 10am beer
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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