My brain says no but my pants say off.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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