You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
