"it" just moved
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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