Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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